Sleeping princess? Lazy git
by Xment2bursX
Summary: In order to prove himself to his uncle, the king, Neji goes on a quest to rescue a sleeping princess. Then things get 'troublesome'. Slash. Crack. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. D8**

**Summary:In order to prove himself to his uncle, the king, Neji goes on a quest to rescue a sleeping princess. Then things get 'troublesome'. Slash. Crack. Oneshot.**

**Note:A knock off type fic of 'Sleeping Beauty'. Yaoi is in fairy tales too now D**

**Also: Dedicated to my muse. Who is obsessed. And lovely. And crazy. And too good to me. But mostly, crazy. -shot-**

**Sleeping princess? Lazy git.**

When thirteen year old Hyuuga Neji heard the rumors about the castle that was put to sleep and the cursed princess within, he thought nothing of it. A fairy tale. He had no time for such things. And yet, over the next three years, all he heard was the tales of the failed attempts of the other countries and clans to rescue the girl. He was intrigued, but he didn't care. Being sixteen, training to be a fighter for the kingdom, being a royal and trying to prove himself to the 'main branch' of his family, he was far too busy to dabble in things that didn't concern him. He was never going to be king - nor did he want too - so he had no obligation to care about the other clans or any girls locked in her castle and awaiting a kiss.

Until his uncle called on him to rescue her.

_That _caught his attention.

"We're one of the few who haven't tried." His uncle had explained. "It looks bad."

"Why me?"

He had received an odd look for that. "Hinata is the heir. Hanabi is trained enough but her age..."

Neji almost face-palmed himself. Almost. "I was meaning... why _me_?"

A snort. "You wish to prove yourself, don't you? Here's you chance." A pause. Neither moved. "Plus I said so. You leave in the morning."

And so he did. He bid fair well to his uncle, his cousins - a stuttering Hinata giving his some healing balm and a pouting Hanabi clutching his leg and begging him to take her with him - his teacher - "Go, Neji! Awaken the young maiden to the springtime of youth!" Good guy pose and the light catching his teeth - and his best friends Lee - "Good luck my eternal rival! I await the return of you and your princess!" - and TenTen - "You had better come back alive and soon, Hyuuga. I don't think I can survive these two alone. Someone. Will. _Die._" - and then he was off, riding into the sunset. Or sunrise, as the case may be.

He rode east, as he was told and was soon further from his clans land than he had ever been before. He trusted his instincts; sleeping where he deemed safe and keeping an ear out for any rumors about the princess. To keep himself sane, we repeated what he was told over and over. Sleeping castle. Possible evil. Tower. Princess. Kiss. Easy.

The first place he came too was definitely _not_the supposed sleeping castle. It was fully inhabited by the very much _awake_clan of the Inuzukas. They were loud, brash, swearing and... Barking?

"Hey." Neji twisted in his seat to see a boy around his age eyeing him. Besides him was a large white dog. Neji was very aware of how sharp it's teeth were.

"...Hello." The boy grinned. Neji was now also very aware of how sharp his teeth were too.

"You must be a traveller. I'm Kiba; this is Akamaru." He motioned to the dog as if Neji hadn't noticed it. "Got a traveller's document? Cant let you on our land without one, man."

Neji shook his head. "I wont be stopping here." He paused. "I'm looking for castle. Occupied by a clan that is supposed to be in a cursed sleep?"

Kiba hummed. "Another attempt for the sleeping princess, eh? Keep heading east, man. The Yamanaka's castle is that'a way."

Neji blinked. "Yamanaka?" He repeated.

The other boy sighed. "No one ever knows the name... Yes, Yamanaka Ino is the princess you'll be waking."

Neji thanked Kiba and turned to continue on, eager to get away from the large dog who hadn't taken his eyes off him. A name. At least he had a name now.

* * *

After that, Neji found that stopping at different clans gave him some good information. The Aburame clan told him that the Yamanaka's strength was in the mind. He wasn't sure what that meant but he wasn't going to stick around to find out. The bugs gave him the creeps; so sue him.

He had a brief run in with the Kedouin clan, who were scarily good at imitating him, and was told how the princess was blonde, blue eyed, thin and an eye for a fight. Great.

The Akimichi clan was odd - and annoying. They denied knowing anything about the Yamanaka family and shooed him off pretty quickly. He didn't come across any more clans or communities, even, until a large-ish house appeared. It was quiet. And the door was open. It was very suspicious.

Neji went in anyway.

And was immediately disappointed.

There was no slumbering family. No sleeping princess. No quick kiss and get your ass back home ending. Instead, there was a blond boy scrubbing - and swearing - at the floor. Neji coughed, trying to draw the boy's attention. And he did; the boy looked up, wildly, hopefully. His soot covered face dropped when his blue eyes landed on Neji.

"You're not Sasuke." He stated.

Neji raised an eyebrow. Sasuke? That sounded familiar. "You're not Ino." He retorted. He was tired. He had been searching for days. He was never going to find this damn castle.

The boy wrinkled his nose, the three scars adorning each of his cheeks moving as he did. "No. I'm not. The Yamanaka's castle is just east of here."

Neji was getting sick of the east.

"Just east." He mumbled. "How far is just east?"

The boy shrugged. "Within walking distance. You could be there by sunse-"

"Naruto?"

Both boys turned towards the door and the blond's face immediately brightened as a pale dark haired boy walked in.

"Sasuke!"

One second Naruto was in front of him and the next he was jumping the raven, wrapping his legs around the other waist and squealing until the boy hushed him with a hard kiss.

Wait. A. Second.

Neji flushed. He had heard of same-sex relationships but never... His clan didn't... at least they never spoke of it... Or...

Neji's head span. He was confused. How could they just do that in front of him? Why was Naruto waiting for Sasuke? Why wasn't he disgusted by this!? Why did it stir a very hot feeling in his stomach-?

Oh. Crap. He was gay. Neji really did face-palm himself this time. The slapping noise broke the other two boys out of their passion. Neji didn't notice. Trust him to find out his sexuality while on his way to rescue his soon-to-be wife.

Fate loved to screw him over.

"Ummm..."

The Hyuuga looked up. Naruto, now on his own two feet, was watching his curiously while Sasuke gave him the once-over and scowled, slipping his arms round Naruto's waist.

"_Mine." _He hissed. "Find your own princess."

Neji's retort of _'That's what I'm unwillingly doing' _was drowned out by Naruto's _'OI. I'm not a princess, bastard!_'.

* * *

True to what Naruto said, Neji found himself at open castle gates just as the sun began to set. And, judging by the people he could see sleeping peacefully on the floor when he peered in, this was definitely the right place.

He hesitated.

Could he really go in there? Knowing he was quite possibly gay?

...Did he really have a choice?

Sighing, he pushed at the doors - a resounding squeak issuing - and stepped in. It echoed loudly. Neji felt his hope drop at it the sound.

It was dusty inside. The layered dirt was probably almost as tall as half is little finger. He should have expected it; the place had been practically uninhabited for three years. His movements made dust fly and as he walked towards the tall staircase he left foot prints. It was rather funny. Neji was tempted to write something in the deep dust with his finger but held himself back. Dust was made partly of dead skin, after all, and he didn't want to touch it.

Plus, someone might see. His uncle would kill him.

Instead, he climbed the stairs. Up, up and up he went. How was he meant to find her in this place?! Decisively, he followed TenTen's advice.

_"Listen up, Neji, cause I'm not gonna tell you again. The girl will be in the highest room possible. Why? Cause we girls are annoying like that. Get over it. So survey the castle; find the tallest tower; go to the top room. If she's not there? You're screwed. You'll have to search the place."_

_"And how do I wake her?" Neji had asked, sighing. _

_TenTen smiled brightly. "Kiss her!" She chirped in a rare show of girlishness. "And if that don't work, flick her with water or something, I dunno."_

Neji sighed. He missed his team mates; crazy as they were.

By the time Neji had climbed all the stairs and found the very highest room, he was exhausted. The sun was just finishing setting. He had been climbing for hours. He was sticky with sweat and grime from his journey and his white shirt was probably grey or see-through. Or both.

He wanted to go home, god damn it.

But he hadn't come all this way for nothing. He faced the door. This, he had heard, was where anyone who go to the castle failed. Apparently, most didn't make it at all; those who did either couldn't find the princess or couldn't get into the room. It was locked, sealed.

Neji breathed deep. He could kick it down. Or punch. He had a strong punch. Better yet, he could use one of the not-needed-beams and break it down. That would need less effort. Neji paused, thoughtfully. If he was to use a beam, he'd have to find a weak and not-needed-beam and get it down. No, he might as well just brace himself and slam into the door with his shoulder.

Nodding, he moved towards the door, gripping the handle. He took several deep breaths and turned, stepping back slightly. He turned the handle and slammed his body sideways and into the door-

-which opened straight away. Neji fell through the doorway, landing on his face.

Groaning, he sat up, cursing wildly. He stood weakly and moved to inspect the door. It had no lock at all. The only thing odd about it was the Neji-shoulder-shaped dent on the outside. Neji winced and rubbed his arm. All that for nothing!? The rumors about a locked door were obviously false. Lies that failed and humiliated men had made up.

Neji scowled, turning to inspect the room. It was surprisingly cleaner than everywhere else. Only a light layer of dust covered the a few of the surfaces such as the wardrobe and the dressing table. The desk, most of of the floor, a Shogi board - Neji hummed in appreciation. He liked a good game of shogi - were all clean. And the bed. The currently occupied bed.

The Hyuuga swallowed and stepped forwards.

The door banged shut.

Neji span around, wide eyed. There was no wind. Pale eyes darted around the room. Clear; except for him and the one sleeping on the bed. Odd.

Cautiously, he turned again and stepped closer to the bed, watching the door over his shoulder. Only when he had stopped right by the bedside did he look away and down to the sleeping princess.

Or, rather, what was meant to be a sleeping princess.

Neji blinked. Looked around the room and blinked again.

_That,_ he decided, was not a girl.

* * *

Neji shifted. He forced himself to breathe. Having a panic attack now wouldn't do any good.

The person on the bed wasn't as they had been described to him as. No long blond hair. No blue eyes. No soft features. No fair skin to rival his own. No. The person on the bed had shoulder length dark hair, pulled up into a messy ponytail on top of their head. Neji couldn't see their eyes but their skin was tanned slightly and their eyebrows were drawn in the middle slightly, as if Neji's presence was going to wake them. Their chin was strong and their muscles were formed. Neji could tell their hands were calloused.

And they were male.

Neji hesitated. Then, blushing slightly, he moved forwards to pluck at the waist band of the slumbering persons boxers, lifting it high enough to peak under. He swallowed. Hard. And placed the waist band back without pinging it.

Oh yes. They were most _definitely_ male.

Neji started to think fast. He could leave. No one would know. He could go back home and claim he was unable to get through the door, like so many others. Neji thought of the disappointment of his uncle; the dishonour of his family. Maybe he could just run away. They would eventually assume him dead. He could start a whole new life! Neji thought of the hardships he would face. He thought of the sadness his uncle and cousins would feel. He shuddered. The idea alone of Hanabi crying was enough to break his heart.

He decided to flick water on the boy. TenTen said it might work, after all. No one needed to know he didnt try kissing him first.

Digging in his bag, Neji pulled out a bottle of luke-warm water. Grimacing, he unscrewed the top and moved to wet his hand.

He paused, a thought coming to him. Fairy tales. Wasn't that what this was, basically. After all, a few had been true. There was that one, that school teacher had to kiss a dog to release his true love back into his real human form. And that one of the big-chested woman. She had to kiss a toad and a snake to get her friends back. Maybe-

Neji's eyes fell on the boy.

Maybe Neji had to kiss him to break the curse and turn him back into a girl.

No. He couldnt. He would just find another way to wake him and then ask. Neji's inner self was immediately talking back.

_But those lips looked _awfully_ tempting._

No. No they didn't!

_And that hair looked _so_ soft._

No. it was probably all dry and split ended.

_What was that saying? Don't knock it till you've tried it!_

There was another one, though. Don't bite the hand that feeds! His uncle would go nuts.

_Not if this _is _the princess. Why else would they be sleeping in _her _room? _Her_ bed?_

Neji blinked. He had himself there. If the boy didn't wake up, no one would know. If he did and didn't turn into the princess, Neji had a justifiable excuse! Without thinking, Neji's feet moved forwards; his body lent forwards and he positioned himself so close to the boy that he could feel his breath tickling his cheek.

Neji swallowed and licked his lips. Then he lent down. His long hair fell off his shoulder as he pressed his lips against the sleeping boys, shielding them, almost.

The young Hyuuga didnt close his eyes. He didnt move. He held his breath and waited. This wasnt his first kiss; he and TenTen had tried it once, only to find it so disturbing that they started gagging.

Nothing happened.

Neji almost scowled. He blinked, hard, and let out a breath through his nose. He had no idea how long he needed to wait. It could be hours. He was hungry and thirsty and - most likely - smelly and, god damn it, he needed to _pee. _

Just as Neji debated ending the kiss and slapping the boy upside the head to wake him instead, he felt something. A flicker on his cheeks. Soft, tickling, like hair or eyelashes-

Oh _god_. The boy beneath him was _blinking. _

Startled, Neji pulled back quickly and found himself looking into dark brown eyes.

* * *

Neji was flushing, he was embarrassed, he was stuttering, he was tripping over his own feet and, god, he was babbling. He had no idea what he was saying. The other boy was just staring at him. Blinking. Dark eyes looked at the door and then back at Neji.

"You got through the door."

That shut Neji up right away.

"I- err, yeah?"

"How?"

Neji frowned. Was he the only one who could turn a freaking door handle? "Like any other door."

"Hm." The boy rubbed at his eyes. "I guess you're the one."

The Hyuuga blinked. "One...?

Humming, the boy sat up and turned to face him. "I guess I should tell you my story. How troublesome. Sit."

Shocked, Neji sat instinctively next to him. He watched, curious, as the boy shifted and rearranged himself on the bed.

"I," The boy began. "Am Nara Shikamaru of the Nara clan."

Neji stared. "Y-you're not Yamanaka Ino?!" He cried.

"Hush." Shikamaru frowned at him. "I'm talking now." Neji flushed. "Ino is my best friend, along with Akimichi Chouji. We've been together forever and we've always had each others backs. So, when Ino was told she was going to be cursed by her ex-best friend when she turned twelve, we did everything we could to stop it. On the night before her birthday, Chouji snuck her out of the castle to hide her. I stayed here to hide and look out. We figured that if the witch 'Sakura' couldnt find her, she wouldn't curse her. What we didn't expect was for Sakura to curse the castle and everyone in it. I was put to sleep with everyone else."

Shikamaru paused here, shifting more.

"When I woke it was day. And I was locked in this room with everyone else outside of it asleep. Sakura cursed the person who was in _this _room to be unable to leave until their 'one true love' came to save them. Only they could save them and break the curse. Sakura obviously didn't expect us to move her. So I became the 'cursed princess'." He sighed. "So roublesome. Ino and Chouji, obviously, tried to get me out but the curse id pretty damn strong. only the one who was destined to be with me can break it. Ino had to go into hiding. Chouji had to calm the rumors and act normal. I had to stay here."

"...You've been here for three years?"

"Yup." Shikamaru nodded.

"And you havent always been asleep?"

"Nope. You caught me in the middle of my nap." He gave Neji a sharp look. "Why _were_ you kissing me? Not that I minded."

Neji flushed. "I... err... T-the legend is that a k-kiss was meant to awaken the princess..." Oh god! He sounded like Hinata.

"Oh." Shikamaru looked amused. "Ok."

Silence fell onto them. Neji shifted and cleared his throat. "So... three years?!"

"Hm." The other nodded. "Three years. Waiting. For you, apparently."

Neji choked. "I-! You-! M-Me?!"

A strand of hair fell out of Shikamaru's hair band as he nodded. "You opened the door. Many have tried but only my 'true love' can open it and set me free. I bet, once we leave this room, everyone else will start waking up. What's your name?" he added, randomly.

"Hyuuga. Neji." Neji said, mostly out of reflex. "You- so you're ok with..." He motioned. "This?!"

The Nara stood, nodding, and started to stretch lazily. "Yeah. I always knew it'd be a guy. I mean, the story says 'princess' right? Obviously, only guys would come. Are _you _ok with," He made the same motion as Neji. "'This'? You must be. Else the door wouldn't have let you in. Plus, you wouldn't have kissed me."

Neji opened his mouth and closed it several times. "I- b-but..."

"But what?" Shikamaru eyed him. "You rescued me and broke the curse. We have a 'bond' now. Not as legal but alot deeper than marriage."

As if to prove his point, he moved to the door and opened it. Neji paused, thinking. Wasn't this perfect? This was the princess. He had done what no one else could do. He had proved himself. He would be respected once he was home. he wouldnt have to marry some random woman. His clan couldn't be mad at him for his sexuality or his chosen partner. But, there was one thing...

Neji stood and walked over to Shikamaru. Boldly, he lent forwards and kissed him gently on the lips before pulling back. Shikamaru blinked at him as he stepped in front of the boy and started out the door.

"If we're 'married' then _you're _the wife, princess." He said over his shoulder.

A smirk formed on the Nara's lips. He moved after Neji, hand flying out to grasp firmly at the boy's ass and force a gasp and a squeak from the Hyuuga.

"We'll see about that."

**An: LAWL, crappy ending! -didn't know how to end it-.**

**So very long! I cant believe I did this so fast XD Please excuse all spelling mistakes as I CBA to check it over and over.**

**ShikaNeji is addictive, I swear. ..**

**R and R, please?**

**x**


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